David Oliver Relin and Greg Mortensen’s Three Cups of Tea
Haji Ali’s Lesson –
When the porcelain bowls of scalding butter tea steamed into their hands, Haji Ali spoke, “If you want to thrive in Balistan, you must respect our ways,” Haji Ali said, blowing on his bowl. “The first time you share tea with a Balti, you are a stranger. The second time you take tea, you are an honored guest. The third time you share a cup of tea, you become family, and for our family, we are prepared to do anything, even die,” he said, laying his hand warmly on Mortenson’s own. “Doctor Greg, you must make time to share three cups of tea. We may be uneducated. But we are not stupid. We have lived and survived here for a long time.”
“That day, Haji Ali taught me the most important lesson I’ve ever learned in my life,” Mortenson says. “We Americans think you have to accomplish everything quickly. We’re the country of thirty-minute power lunches and two-minute football drills. Our leaders thought the ‘shock and awe’ campaign could end the war in Iraq before it even started. Haji Ali taught me to share three cups of tea, to slow down and make building relationships as important as building projects. He taught me that I had more to learn from the people I work with than I could ever hope to teach them.” P. 150
Context: Mortenson had been turning into the tough taskmaster, and the authority of the village took him aside to say, we are grateful for the bridge you built, and the work you’re doing to build our first school, but you must do one thing more for us. “Anything,” Greg agreed. He took Mortenson’s plum line, his level, account book, and then walked back down to Korphe, locking them in a cabinet with his most cherished possessions. Then, as Haji’s wife made tea, he mouthed Arabic prayers and shared the paragraphs above.
This is one of those common grace principles. Community matters. People matter. They matter more than tasks. We build and accomplish great exploits for people. We create and are at our greatest when we image God in this way- we accomplish in relationship.
Jesus is the best example of this. He spent three years eating and drinking with his disciples. He cared for them. He told them the truth and it was only in the context of his relationship with them that they were able grasp who he is. He taught them what real work is and what it means to love and believe and to serve. Jesus taught them what sacrifice is.
I think it is important to be able to point out good traits and "godly" things where ever they are exhibited in humanity. They are good because it is God who sets the standard. But, we are at our best and accomplish truly great exploits only when we live in Jesus' way and live for God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
(Vicki, thanks for the quote)
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